Left Behinds

The anti-andrewsullivan.com. Or, the Robin Hood (Maid Marian?) of bright pink Blogger blogs.

Friday, December 30, 2005

THE BEST OF LEFT BEHINDS 2005

Without further ado, our absurdly premature (we only started a month ago, remember) top ten moments of 2005:

1) Left Behinds Gets Spanked
Our greatest honor of the year was a takedown in the very popular MILBlogging.com, where the man behind the milblogs (a man who I had called "unnecessary and annoying" in a previous post) noted graciously that LB "looks like some third-grade school project written by some Marilyn Manson-looking blogger named Solomon Grundy, a childhood friend of Cindy Sheehan, and a few other contributors." And that was just in his first paragraph. But by the end of the bashing we were not just friends, we were lovers.

2) Ten Worst Americans
Our group effort at coming up with the ten worst Americans is by far our most heavily trafficked page. It's linked on many other sites as an example of "extreme leftist propaganda", but I'm just happy to be getting the word out about number two on the list.

3) Tai Shan in Trouble
A neurotic baby panda-celebrity prompts a newly Lacanian Alexander Hamilton to ask, "what would happen to your ego-image if every time you got close enough to examine your reflection it was replaced by a bunch of camera-wielding tourists?"


4) V for Vendetta
AH laments the casting of the talentless Natalie Portman in the film adaptation of his favorite comic of all time, V for Vendetta, to which someone named "Sak" sassily retorts "Unless you believe that, insulting people like that makes you radical or something, in which case i regret to inform you that you 've failed. To be respected at the very least." Another Nataliac sums it up with "you're just stupid."

5) What's Next For Intelligent Design
The court decision prohibiting Intelligent Design from being taught in a Pennsylvania school inspires AH to speculate on ID's daring next moves.

6) Christmas: Pungent Santa Fart?
I get into the Christmas spirit. The delightfully Jewish AH asserts that Jesus was batshit crazy, prompting me to ask what you were all thinking: "Are you trying to murder Jesus?

7) Brokeback Desert
Continuing our quest to drive traffic by incorporating Brokeback Mountain into all our post titles, AH discusses a recently unearthed ancient Eqyptian painting that may be of two lovers or two twins or two twins who were lovers (Akbar and Jeff?), prompting Neda Cole to tell the story of Horus and Set, an uncle and nephew in the Egyptian pantheon who were on-again off-again lovers. You'll never look at sandwiches the same again. Trust.

8) Conversations I an Atheist Jew Had With God About How Jesus Was Crazy and A Big Jerk, Part II
As part of an ongoing series, AH continues in his quest to, in fact, murder Jesus.

9) Bi Shepherds Not Gay Cowboys
On our second-most popular page, I deconstruct the annoying meme of calling the protaganists in Brokeback Mountain "gay cowboys," when in fact they were bi shepherds. As I said, "I used to work on a cattle ranch, and the distinctive thing about cowboys is that they work with cows, not sheep." Yes, I'm a pedantic little fuck sometimes.

10) Racism and the Transit Strike
Getting all serious, I discuss the gulf between how black and white New Yorkers viewed the recent transit strike. This post is actually more indicative of Left Behinds' bread and butter, but the more lighthearted posts make the medicine go down.


Wow, what a year. What a year. Thanks for taking this long trip down memory lane with us. It's been real.



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4 Comments:

  • At 5:50 PM, Blogger Antid Oto said…

    I know it's been your hobby-horse for a month now, but on the shepherd tip: I think you pretty much have to call Ennis a cowboy. He did spend the vast majority of his life (and the movie) working on cattle ranches. Jack would be most accurately called a tractor salesman.

     
  • At 6:36 PM, Blogger Solomon Grundy said…

    Hm, the beginning of the story is the painstakingly detailed period that defines them for the rest of their lives. They spent that crucial summer on a sheep operation as a herder and a camp tender. That makes them shepherds.

    You don't really see Ennis working on the cattle ranches later in his life, whereas you see every detail of that first summer.

    Maybe Ennis was a shepherd who became a cowboy, but I'd say that the relevant part of the story is the first summer on the sheep operation.

    And at the very least it's a total misnomer to call them gay cowboys, don't you think?

     
  • At 1:25 AM, Blogger Antid Oto said…

    Well, sure. I was just trying to out-pedant you, but that's obviously a waste of time.

     
  • At 2:46 AM, Blogger Solomon Grundy said…

    Lol. I will not be out-pedanted!

     

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