Left Behinds

The anti-andrewsullivan.com. Or, the Robin Hood (Maid Marian?) of bright pink Blogger blogs.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Dammit, this bums me out

When I first saw there was a movie coming out based on V for Vendetta, I couldn't have been more thrilled. V for Vendetta is one of my favorite comics ever, an absolute masterpiece from Alan Moore at his best. It literally makes me cry.

Now I see this:

Alan Moore, co-creator of the "V For Vendetta" comic, has publicly disassociated himself from the upcoming Warner Brothers movie project based on the comic book and written and produced by the Wachowski Brothers.

I think, "Uh-oh. It must be because of the Wachowski Brothers. They must have got this because a guy in a Guy Fawkes costume looks roughly like a guy in a black leather trenchcoat, and turned the brooding, dystopian, anarchist fable into an action movie." So I head over to the movie Web site and watch the trailer, or at least 25 seconds of it, right until Evey Hammond, the central character, speaks her first line, which I recognize as coming at the central moment of the story, the one that makes me cry. And I realize that the problem isn't the directors, it's that Evey Hammond is played by fucking Natalie Portman. Because Natalie Portman can't fucking act. One of the greatest moments in the story, and she kills it dead dead dead.

This movie is really going to suck. They took one of my favorite stories ever and made it suck. That sucks.

UPDATE (March): OK, it was better than expected.

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  • At 11:15 PM, Blogger n69n said…

    i saw this this morning....


    According to Variety, Warner Bros. has picked up "Watchmen" out of turnaround from Paramount. Warner's is apparently seeking a new writer and director. Once those slots are set, Paramount will have the option to co-finance the project.
    Source: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/comments/?entryid=273127

  • At 12:05 AM, Blogger Solomon Grundy said…

    You mean Natalie Hershlag?

    What's so annoying about her is the voice. That flat, annoyed, singsong rich-girl whine. She can't modulate her voice. (Also, it's kinda annoying how all the straight white middle-aged males who make up the critics' community jizz all over their laptops whenever she's in a movie, but that's not her fault -- what's her fault is that she's an actress rather than a tax lawyer).

    Having said all that, this movie could not possibly be worse than Aeon Flux. The source material might not have been my all time favorite animation, but it was great, and the movie was a big stinking pile of poo.

  • At 2:10 AM, Blogger Antid Oto said…

    "According to Variety, Warner Bros. has picked up "Watchmen" out of turnaround from Paramount."

    Given how bad Alan Moore's luck has been with movie treatments of his best work (Swamp Thing and the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, notably), I almost hope that never gets made.

  • At 2:13 AM, Blogger Antid Oto said…

    Having said all that, this movie could not possibly be worse than Aeon Flux.

    I put in a link to the movie site. Go watch the first trailer. At least Charlize Theron is capable of acting.

    Then again, I had no emotional attachment to Aeon Flux, so I didn't really care if it was bad.

  • At 5:24 PM, Blogger Solomon Grundy said…

    For some reason my Quicktime won't let me watch the trailer. But I did see a short trailer in the theater, and it looked pretty mediocre.

    However, Aeon Flux was a sub-B-movie. If Charlize Theron can in fact act, she was told not to for this role. It's like the dialogue and verisimilitude of an old kung fu movie, but with the action scenes replaced by a 30 year old glamourpuss doing somersaults. So bad.

    The only good to come from the movie is that it inspired MTV to release the old cartoons on DVD.

  • At 8:12 PM, Anonymous Sak said…

    "Natalie Portman can't fucking act."? In my opinion, films like "The Professional","Beautiful Girls","Developing","Closer" and theatricals like "The diary of Anne Frank" and "The Seagull", to name a few, are fair proof she can act, much better than any actress of her age, even if you don't like her. But calling, her, or any other person for that matter, "fucking", is a good indication of your credibility and mentality. Unless you believe that, insulting people like that makes you radical or something, in which case i regret to inform you that you 've failed. To be respected at the very least.

  • At 10:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    you are stupid
    natalie portman is one the best actress's out there

  • At 4:29 PM, Blogger Solomon Grundy said…

    Even though she's constitutionally incapable of modulating her voice? I think it's like a birth defect, so maybe the Americans with Disabilities Act requires us to make appropriate concessions. Force Jodie Foster to dub all Natalie's roles? That doesn't seem quite fair to Jodie...

  • At 6:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    ??? her voice? its fine. she can sing too by the way.

    i think shes awesome: garden state for one, i havent watched her other films, due to only recently discovering that shes brilliant. star wars was all i'd seen her in before.

    what it boils down to is whether you get a good vibe from seeing her on tv or in movies. cause honestly, what some people is annoying is considered by others to be other-wordly beautiful. you either like or dislike her, and theres probably no way to influence opinions either way.

  • At 3:11 PM, Anonymous Elana said…

    My concern is can hollywood handle the politics of V. I don't trust Hollywood to convey them properly.

    Moore clearly stated that part of his inspiration was the Thatcher regime. Through that lens, the book's implications of the Bush administration are desperately timely.

    As for Watchmen, people have been claiming it was "about to be made" since I was a child. Terry Gilliam was supposed to direct it at one point. I mean they've been batting this around since always. I'll believe there'll be a "Watchmen" movie when I see it.

  • At 3:11 PM, Blogger Stroll said…

    I didn't know this was based on a comic book until I read this review. I was planning on seeing it based on the rave reviews it's gotten elsewhere. I probably will still see it and I'm easy to please so I will probably like it. Then I'll feel bad because the creator of the comic book himself doesn't like it. :| Anyway, I'm sure you've heard of the Natalie Portman Gangsta Rap from SNL? Perhaps her talents lie elsewhere? ;)

  • At 1:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    She is SO hot in The Professional.


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