Left Behinds: Primary Endorsements That Are Even Funnier Than Ours (But Only Because They're So Much Longer)

Friday, September 08, 2006

Primary Endorsements That Are Even Funnier Than Ours (But Only Because They're So Much Longer)

I have only just read Gatemouth's endorsements, which are actually more like a series of very smart, funny essays on the various campaigns. I highly recommend reading them all in full.

The AG's Race: Part One (Kidney Punch), Part Two (The Homophobe v. The Racist), and Part Three (The Consolation Prize).

Gatemouth's Voter's Guide: Part One (Intro; Statewide and Congressional Races; Notes), Part Two (Judicial Races), Part Three (The State Senate), and Part Four (The State Assembly).

You might find it hard to believe that reading about the State Assembly could make you guffaw, giggle, and galumph, but you'd be wrong.

A+, Gatemouth, A+.

Also, is it possible that Gatemouth is in fact Matt Taibbi? That would for me be a handy consolidation of my platonic writerly crushes. Well, in Matt Taibbi's case, not so platonic, after I met him.

2 Comments:

At 3:37 PM, Anonymous said…

Wow! Since the endorsements you posted agree with mine almost not at all, I take this as the supreme compliment.

As to Taibi, sorry to disappoint; I'm a Clinton Democratic; he is decidedly not.
At 4:19 PM, Solomon Grundy said…

I think I said before about your writings that I am drawn to wit and insight, not doctrinal purity. That you could wring a couple laughs from the state assembly races is enough to keep me reading (even if your conclusions are dead wrong heh).

But a Clinton Dem? What was your favorite of his accomplishments? NAFTA? Putting his signature on Newt Gingrich's welfare reform, coincidentally only a few months before his second election? Or his courageous Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy? I agree with the cliche that BC was a brilliant campaigner and a thoroughly mediocre statesman.

Or perhaps you mean you're a Chelsea Clinton Democrat.

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Ten Worst Americans Our group effort at coming up with the ten worst Americans of all time is our most heavily trafficked page. It's linked on many other sites as an example of "extreme leftist propaganda", but I (Solomon) am just happy to be getting the word out about number two on the list.

George Pataki, You Will Never Be President, So Stop Pataki's latest bout of pandering to the national right wing provokes AO to assess Pataki's viability as a presidential candidate. Sample: "In summary, you are dumb, uncharismatic, middlingly competent at best, not politically savvy, and somewhere between homely and plain."

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The Most Annoying Person in New York Another of our very popular contests, this time for that person who just irks you. As AO writes, "'Most Annoying' is not the same as 'most evil' or 'worst.' We're looking for people who set your teeth on edge for no good reason, not Bruce Ratner."

The Science of Cuteness Think about a kitten staring up at you and cocking its little head as it blinks its big sleepy eyes. If you didn't just barf a little bit in your mouth, you're not trying hard enough to contradict the results of this study.

NYC Police Surveillance In this dispatch from the front lines (subsequently used by the Gotham Gazette), a Brooklyn activist discusses how years of police surveillance and harrassment almost succeeded in demoralizing her. Almost.

The War on Empiricism In a prelude to the risk posts above, AO argues that more people believe in haunted houses than in the scientific method. Somewhere in this post there must be some Dick Cheney jokes.

Why I am a Liberal, or, Napkins are a Stupid Place to Make Government Policy AO and the Congressional Budget Office force small-government conservatives to "defend low taxation on its merits: either taxes and government are evil and immoral in themselves (the idea the right-wing noise machine has been trying to cram down our throats for 25 years or so), or in utilitarian terms less government and lower taxes benefits everyone more than high taxes and more government."

Anya Kamenetz Says ... My Choice Is Yogurt SG gets his semiotics on while ridiculing the latest crackpot scheme of his Most Annoying Person in New York designee.

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Left Behinds Gets Spanked Our greatest honor of 2005 was a takedown in the very popular MILBlogging.com, where the man behind the milblogs (a man who SG had called "unnecessary and annoying" in a previous post) noted graciously that LB "looks like some third-grade school project written by some Marilyn Manson-looking blogger named Solomon Grundy, a childhood friend of Cindy Sheehan, and a few other contributors." And that was just in his first paragraph. But by the end of the bashing we were not just friends, we were lovers.

Left Behinds

Friday, September 08, 2006

Primary Endorsements That Are Even Funnier Than Ours (But Only Because They're So Much Longer)

2 Comments:

"Very funny and very well written." - an editor at The Nation

"You are so funny." - Susie Bright

"You guys are really insightful and fun AND acknowledge NYC politics. We need that." - DMI Blog

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"Sharp & Punchy Commentary by a Team of writers that know the funny side of life, too." -Daniels Counter

"Extreme leftist propaganda" ... "written by a childhood friend of Cindy Sheehan" ... "sniveling liberals" ... "Man-haters, too. One of the contributors must be the originator of the Girls Rule, boy-hating theme" - various right-wing blogs

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