Pickle Envy

Not me, but one part of it could be

This is a bit hilarious, and I enjoyed my friend/co-blogger Joancrawfordsface's commentary:

oh god - that maury povich is a beast. i used to sit in bed watching his smooth malteser head as it opened and closed, saying absolutely nothing at all. and his rheumy eyes, sparkling with mock-compassion at the girl he's brought on who looks 276 years older than her true five years. yes, blink those soulful eyes, maury - we'll all think of bambi.

hilariously - he would usually solve problems by donating castoffs from his own smooth wardrobe - which just proved his philanthropy. this worked fine (but was still sickening) when his show was about poor loafers who couldn't get work, because they didn't have enough money to present themselves well to employers. here, he would say: have one of my old versace's. next item, please. little thumberlina woman, 35 years old, 12 inches tall. give her an old suit, g'wan. next. 9 year old girl pregnant with her dad's third child? wait - stop - don't take that bag to the charity shop - there's an old suit in it, she can swaddle her bairns in it.

i have very little doubt in my head that the pickle-fearing woman on this show was given one of his old suits too. she could cover her eyes with the jacket whilst moving down the condiment aisle to buy ketchup.