Left Behinds

The anti-andrewsullivan.com. Or, the Robin Hood (Maid Marian?) of bright pink Blogger blogs.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Search and Destroy

Another of the best parts of having a blog is that you can procrastinate by analyzing your site statistics. My personal favorite aspect of this time-wasting is tracking the various strange search engine results that lead surfers to Left Behinds.

Now, it's no secret (well, to me and Antid Oto, at least) that a lot of our traffic is driven by people searching for our discussion of the ending of Cache(which is, months later, still getting tons and tons of traffic and comments, perhaps corresponding to a new international release or something) and for the full text of the story Brokeback Mountain (sorry, Annie, but I'm sure you can spare the royalties). We also get a steady stream of traffic for stuff like the Spazz Wheelchair (lots of curious shoppers? maybe LB needs to indulge in more retail therapy), Kimya Dawson (devoted fans combined with very little attention in the mainstream music press), and The Laffer Curve (a good title for a boring subject probably gets a lot of Google attention).

So far, so no-brainer. What's more amusing for me are the accidental search results.

Stuff such as someone in Tripoli coming here after typing "how to join parkour by phone in libya" in Google. Now, to get this combination of search words, Google had to combine my lustful gushing about adolescent parkour boys with my ruminations about the sexual proclivities of the crown prince of Libya. I'm sure the aspiring Libyan free runner got more than he bargained for.

Another perennial search engine source (seriously, at least a couple a day) is some variation of "spanked red behinds" (we also get a lot of guys Googling "ladies behinds", probably based on my "Ladies Man" post about LL Cool J as the gay rapper heh). Along the same, ridiculous lines is yesterday's "uncut sex." Some porn-lover was probably looking for some hot pics, and instead he discovered my narcissistic rambling about the perils of circumcision.

I know there have been other, funnier ones, but all I have access to is the past week's results, which have included "etymology coon" (interesting/creepy mostly because it was on German Google) and "left earring gay" (some guy in Brisbane who apparently was worried about how girls would take his new piercing? too bad that led him, again, to the post about LL Cool J as the gay rapper).

AO, do you remember any funny ones?


  • At 4:27 PM, Blogger Neda Cole said…

    Ha. How to join parkour by phone in libya. Ha.

    Curious what brings people here to read. Thanks for sharing, highly amusing.

    I'm sure I've asked this already but have you seen 'Paradise now'? I'm really keen to hear your opinion of it.

  • At 4:45 PM, Blogger Solomon Grundy said…

    Heh, yeah, I can't imagine that guy's surprise.

    I do want to see Paradise Now. Maybe I'll put it in my Netflix cue...

    Btw, today this very post generated the following search engine result. Sorry, porn-hunter.

  • At 4:45 PM, Blogger Solomon Grundy said…

    By cue I meant queue.

  • At 4:58 PM, Blogger Neda Cole said…

    Maybe we should post that picture of butchie - i'm sure there's a fetishist out there somewhere that would be happy for it.

  • At 5:51 PM, Blogger Antid Oto said…

    Well, there was that time a few months ago when we were getting hits referred from this site. That was creepy.

    I'm out of town on business, all week, by the way. I could have dinner with about 11 Republican Reps and Jack Kemp tonight, but I'm choosing not to.

  • At 6:44 PM, Blogger Neda Cole said…

    ew that site should come with a warning. Here it is for any unsuspecting LB readers who are curious to see the source of the creepy referral : There is a photograph on that page you do not want to see.

  • At 10:17 PM, Blogger Solomon Grundy said…

    LOL maybe Butchie's fans would want to see it... Anyhow I think it's the prose that endangers one's soul. For example, the title "my babydog, the squirt princess" tells you all you need to know.

  • At 10:22 PM, Blogger Solomon Grundy said…

    AO: you passed up dinner with Jack Kemp? For shame. First of all, there were lots of heckling opportunities. Even better, it would have been funny to talk enthusiastically with the person next to Kemp about soccer. He once on the floor of the US House of Representatives called soccer "a European socialist sport" and lobbied to prevent the World Cup from coming to the US. Damn soccer commies!


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