Melodrama and drunks and queens, oh my
Prompted by Heidi Klum's innocent question "Andrae, what were you thinking about this challenge?", he starts ranting about what fashion means to him, which prompts unimaginably abrupt oscillations between tears and laughter and British and valley girl accents. "The question Tim posed to us was how far would you go for fashion?" he recounts through sobs, and you know he deeply and profoundly understands the philosophical grandeur of this seemingly inane question. And he goes that far for fashion, right before our eyes. And beyond.
Watch Andrae Gonzalo break down
Heidi interrupts with a few perplexed, bobbleheaded questions ("are these happy tears or sad tears?" she asks in that squeaky sex-robot voice), but it's Andrae's show, and his show must go on and on and on, for a full, excruciating ten minutes. During the reunion special they only broadcast an edited version, with a superimposed stopwatch helpfully charting its duration. Toward the end the funnier contestants, all standing near him on the runway having to endure this madness, were hiding their laughter, and the cheesier contestants were crying (at, I suppose, the beauty of his sentiment). I almost hyperventilated from laughter.
However, another strong contender for highlight of the reunion special might have been the following exchange between the bitchy fashion mentor Tim Gunn and a very drunk contestant:
Tim: "Here's a question from a viewer named Arian. Guadalupe, did you feel your elimination was fair even though Marla had plagiarized the dress Nicky Hilton had worn before?"
Guadalupe: "Honestly I can only give him a personal critique. No one would ever know, unless they personally respond to me, would know what my personal response is, and that is of me, and personally I believe you can't, like, push the values, and, like Johnny Cash, walk the line. Understand that Marla has an aesthetic that I cannot duplicate but Marla has an aesthetic that she cannot duplicate. [Guadalupe suddenly becomes passionate and addresses the camera] And Arian, on national television, you fucking rock because you believe in what is true. Period."
Tim [not amused]: "That is the biggest load of bullshit I've heard in weeks."